I recently was the recipient of a bit of cosmetic enhancement. I've been feeling kinda wrinkled and old lately, and I saw where all them fancy movie stars are spending thousands of dollars on "bo-tox" and such, so I thought making my face puffy like theirs might help make me fell younger.

To that effect, I checked a guy with my face at hockey.

It kinda worked- the one side is the picture of youthful vitality (where "youthful vitality" is defined as "200% swelling and a festive bluish-black hue"). Unfortunately, the other side is still its pale, unswolen self- but I have another appointment to get that side done next Tuesday.

Brats from the vendor in the Home Depot parking lot are now officially off my list of favorite things to eat - or, at least, to digest. Maybe it was the sautéd onions. ...Or the kraut. ...Or the spicy mustard. It definitely wasn't the jalapeño peppers...

(for Dad, and Verm)

"Your children are my 'crumple-zone'"

"Screw global warming: I've got AC"

"Thanks for driving something small - it makes me feel superior"

"I am one Selfish, Ugly American"

"I'm changing the Climate- Ask me how!"

It seems that DellHost likes to get paid for their services, even when those services (e.g. accessing your account maintenance page to update your credit card information) are unavailable for months at a time.

When they finally got around to deleting my site, I actually had to pick up the phone, and find out that they'd been failing to bill my account for over a year, and I would have to come up with about $400 for last year and next year to get things turned back on. "Um, yeah. Let me think about that, and call you right back."

I'm now paying a third as much for 5 times the space, triple the bandwidth, and a functioning control interface, through iPowerWeb, one of those scary start-ups that will probably dissapear in two months.

Anyhow, now that the site has been restored from back-ups, I'll have to spend some time going through and cleaning up. Pardon the mess.

(source unknown - I emphasized my favorites)
What follows is a transcription of some of the best signs in Washington during the peace march January 18th, 2003.

• Drunken frat boy drives country into ditch.
• Bush/Cheney: Malice in Blunderland
• Who would Jesus bomb?
• War begins with 'Dubya'.
• Bush is proof that empty warheads can be dangerous.
• Let's bomb Texas, they have oil too.
• How did our oil get under their sand?
• If you can't pronounce it, don't bomb it.
• Daddy, can I start the war now?
• 1000 points of light and one dim bulb.
• Sacrifice our SUV's, not our children. <== Dad!
• Preemptive impeachment.
• No George, I said Mac Attack.
• Frodo has failed, Bush has the ring.
• Look, I'll pay more for gas!
• He is a moron and a bully.
• It's the stupid economy.
• Draft Richard Perle.
• Draft dodgers shouldn't start wars.
• War is sweet to those who haven't tasted it (Erasmus).
• Pillow fights only.
• Our grief [over 9/11] is not a cry for war.
• Different Bush, same shit.
• Stop the Bushit.
• Just war/just oil.
• You don't have to like Bush to love America.
• Bushes are for pissing on.
• Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld: the asses of evil.
• Stop the excess of evil [gives figures for the multibillion dollar defense budget].
• $1 billion a day to kill people -- what a bargain.
• Consume --> Consume --> Bomb --> Bomb --> Consume --> Consume
• What's the difference between me & God? He might forgive Bush, but I won't.
• Smush Bush.
• America, get out of the Bushes.
• It's time to trim the Bush.
• Pro-lifers: Wake from Bush's propaganda spell -- war kills innocent children.
• Don't make me come back here [to a peace rally] again.
• Disarm Bush too.
• Big brother isn't coming -- he's already here.
• Empires fall.
• An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind (Gandhi).
• Impeach the squatters.
• Mainstream white guys for peace. (Sign held by three mainstream-looking white guys)
• Hans Blix -- look over here.
• Let Exxon send their own troops.
• Curious, George? -- get a clue.
• Destroy Florida. [It could happen again]
• There's a terrorist behind every Bush.
• How many bodies per mile?
• SUV owners roll over for terrorism.
• We can't afford to rule the world.
• War is so 20th century!
• 9-11-01: 15 Saudis, 0 Iraqis.
• While you were watching the war, Bush was raping America.
• Don't waive your rights while waving your flag.
• Leave Desert Storm to the desert.
• Drop Bush not bombs.
• Fighting for peace is like f___ing for virginity.
• Bush is to Christianity as Osama is to Islam.
• I asked for universal health care and all I got was this lousy stealth bomber.
• America's problems won't be solved in Iraq.
• War is not a family value.
• 2 sided poster, one side has a picture of a chubby feline, with the words: GOOD FAT CAT other side has a picture of
• Cheney, with the words: BAD FAT CAT
• Colorfully dressed drag queen carrying a sign that says: I am the bomb.
• Picture of the peace symbol: back by popular demand.
• A picture of Bush with a red-stained upper lip: Got blood?
• A picture of Bush saying "Why should I care what the American people think? They didn't vote for me."
• A picture of Bush saying "Ask me about my lobotomy."
• Beneath a picture of Osama bin Laden dressed as Uncle Sam: I want YOU to bomb Iraq.
• Beneath a picture of a menacing soldier pointing his rifle/bayonet toward the viewer: Say it! One Nation under God. Say it!

So, I participated in my first Peace march Saturday night. If it was any indication of the state of activism in the U.S., I'm not surprised the Bush regime isn't too concerned.

I wasn't actually planning on attending anything that night, other than a little drywalling party at my house, but on my way home from ordering the tile for my kitchen floor, I passed a smallish demonstration marching up High Street. They had drums and banners and all that stuff, and were chanting "Drop Bush, not bombs!" with a decent amount of enthusiasm, so I continued home, parked the car, and ran 5 blocks to catch up with them.

Once I joined the group, I quickly started making some observations, and came up with a list of ways the whole thing could have been done better...

1. Bathing does not necessarily make you a baby-bombing oil monger.
2. Digging out your parent's old hippie cloths for the occasion just makes it look like a Halloween march. I think I can safely say I was the only one present wearing a Ralph Lauren coat... or underwear.
3. A vegan diet doesn't really seem to provide the stamina one needs to march two miles in sub-zero temperatures while chanting slogans. I recommend a preparatory dinner of veal cutlets with mashed potatoes and beef gravy
4. Pot Legalization and other non-peace-specific banners at a Peace rally tend to distract from the issue at hand; Please invest in a second piece of poster-board
5. Hippies have no rhythm.
6. As an addendum to the above: the sound of rhythm-impaired hippies banging on pan lids while half-heartedly chanting slogans (out of sync with their compatriots) can cause severe headaches, and may cause the locals to come out of their homes to threaten your life, regardless of political involvement.
7. If you don't bother to get a permit, you don't get to march in street. And if you only have 40 people in your group, you don't need to march in the street- that cop telling you to stay on the sidewalk isn't The Man, trying to keep you from being heard; he's The Man, trying to keep you from getting run over by Saturday night drunk-drivers (notice how he went away after you got out of the street?).
8. If you want to hold a Peace march, try spreading the word beyond putting up a flyer at the local vegan cafe- you might get a bigger (and less anemic) turn-out.

I decided to take a little hiatus from updating this page for a while. Partly it was because I moved into my new house, and still don't have a high-speed connection there. Partly it was because things have been too busy at work for me to fool around with it there.

But mainly I just needed a break. It's hard to maintain this level of angst, and eventually I get bored with being in a bad mood. So I stopped reading foreign news sources and comparing them to the emptyheaded jingoism on my currently cable-less TV, and I stopped trying to articulate my outrage at everything that's going on. I figure that's a good idea, since most of the stuff I write here will probably be used against me when it comes time for me to go before the Loyalty Testing division of the Department of Homeland Security.

I'll keep posting stuff like the rap below, and eventually I'll unpack my computer at home and update my renovation site, but I'm gonna try really hard not to invest myself in any writing for this page unless it's amusing.

By the way, I didn't get a single on of those sweaters for Christmas, and it is balls cold here this Winter.